Category: Feminist Rant

  • The Weapon of Choice

    The Weapon of Choice

    Last Tuesday I woke up around 9 o’clock in the morning. I said good morning to my husband and then I went into the bathroom to take a shower with a special anti-bacterial soap. I dressed in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. Around 10:45am Seth and I headed out to meet my mom at Grant Medical Center downtown. I was checked in and brought to a room where I changed into a surgical gown and socks. I waited here with my mom and Seth keeping me company until my doctor was ready. I was wheeled to surgery around 3:45pm and was in recovery around 5pm. I was in a room around 6pm and I was released around midnight to go home with my husband. We stopped at Taco Bell on the way home because I hadn’t eaten anything but crackers since around 7:30 Monday night. We ate dinner and went to bed and I no longer had any fallopian tubes.

    The official name of the surgery is Laparoscopic Salpingectomy. They made three small incisions: one on each side of my lower belly and one in my belly button. Then they removed my tubes completely. It is more efficient and safer than having the tubes tied or cauterized and there is no chance of ectopic pregnancy or pregnancy at all.

    When Roe v. Wade was overthrown by the Supreme Court I was sent into a mild panic. As a woman who has never wanted to have children and who typically utilizes the kinds of long term birth control that is also being called into question I immediately felt like some kind of permanent solution had to be found for me. I had been trying to get my tubes tied since I was in my twenties and was consistently told no. But, last year my sister who was 29 got approved for her tube removal, so I called her gynecologists’ office to make an appointment there.

    Dr. Williford walked in and said, you want to get your tubes removed. I confirmed I did. She said okay, let’s get you scheduled for surgery. I literally almost cried. It was that simple. I went in with a list of reasons, my husbands permission, etc. And she tells me that their office “believes women should be able to do whatever they want with their tubes.”

    Now here I am, a week of healing behind me. I will have some tiny scar on my belly that will be barely noticeable amongst the stretch marks already marking that skin. I cannot get pregnant anymore. I am breathing easier than I have since the day of the Supreme Courts action. Now I need to work to help others who aren’t as lucky as me. I am looking at volunteering for Planned Parenthood. I am donating to the Ohio Abortion Fund. I am voting in my best interests. This is my weapon of choice, choosing what is best for me, my friends, my sisters, my niblings, and our world.

  • Music for Self Care

    I heard the new Demi Lovato song I Love Me on the radio Friday on the way to work and it inspired me to create a Self Love playlist on Spotify. The list includes Demi’s new song, I Love Myself Today by Bif Naked, Good as Hell by Lizzo and some other feel yourself songs. Here is a link to the playlist. Are there any songs that you think should have made the list? Let me know in the comments.

  • Sisters are doing it for Themselves!

    Sisters are doing it for Themselves!

    I am a woman with sisters. I have biological sisters and chosen sisters and one spectacular sister-in-law. There are few things in this world I find as important or as necessary as the relationships I have with these women.

    I have three half-sisters, two from my mother and one from my father. From my dad’s side there is Chelli. Chelli is a boss babe and an entrepreneur who created Bloom a coworking space for women and women owned businesses. She is gorgeous and amazing. I don’t know her super well, but I am proud to be her sister, even distantly.

    From my mom there is Krystie and Traci. Krystie is eight years older than me. She lives in Oklahoma so I don’t get to see her as often as I would like to, but isn’t that just the way. She worked her ass off and is a manager for Raising Canes, a job that she loves (most of the time) and is good at. She is also studying business management through SNHU online and working hard on bettering herself and the world every day. She is also a bad ass. Traci is ten years younger than me and she and I are super close. She is a creative power house. She is an amazing artist, a lovely singer (though she refuses to do it in public) and is becoming a fabulous cosplayer. She is sensitive and smart and hilarious. She is a bad ass as well.

    Apparently my family only produces absolutely bad ass women.

    My sister-in-law Niki is one of my best friends. She embraced me as the strange coworker her husband befriended because she had no life. She, and her husband Chris who is his brother, were instrumental in my meeting and falling in love with Seth. She is an activist, amazing mother to my two bad ass neices and one bad ass nephew, and a great friend.

    I am involved in several women based groups as well, and those bad ass women are my sisters by choice. I have spoken before of the Lady Gang and those women are precious to me. They are smart, funny, brilliant, creative, and the most fun. The lady gang has had numerous happy hours, hygge nights, wig nights, gone to conventions, gone to put-in-bay, and we are planning a big camping trip soon. These ladies always have something going on.

    There is also the International Wenches Guild which is a Renaissance Festival based group that I have been a member of since 2004. It is made up of naughty, bawdy women who love ren faires and love to play. My friend Susan and I had been spearheading to get Ohio it’s own local and we suceeded last year in establishing Local 73 – The Wenches of Myth bringing my friend Sarah into the mis to be Madame of Vice. Then just in the last couple of months we found out that we also have official sanction from our home the Ohio Renaissance Festival. The guild council had their first meeting today to plan for the season, and I have no doubt that it is going to be amazing!

    Do you have amazing, bad ass women in your life?

  • On Choice, Birth Control, Pride and Being Afraid

    On Choice, Birth Control, Pride and Being Afraid

    In my home state of Ohio the rights of women are under attack. The Heartbeat Bill that has been passed by our state legislature and signed into law by our backward facing heel of a Governor is a disgrace, and has left me feeling scared and occasionally powerless. The even more draconian bills that are following would make many birth controls, including the one I am currently using (Mirena IUD) illegal in the state of Ohio.

    I am trying to keep myself grounded and remember that this and similar laws in other states are unconstitutional based on the ruling Roe v. Wade, but with the most recent additions to the Supreme Court I feel like there is a very good chance that Roe v. Wade could be overturned.

    I have personally never had to make the choice to have an abortion, but I have been on birth control since I was 15. I have known almost since that time that I did not want to have children. I have been blessed that my birth control has never failed, but I was always reassured that if the worst (for me) happened I had the freedom to seek an abortion. Having that taken away from me, and my husband who also does not want children, is so upsetting.

    The whole situation has me wanting to quickly having tubal ligation, or a salpingetomy which is what my little sister recently got, so that I don’t have to worry as much about the possibility of losing access to birth control and getting pregnant. I called today to make an appointment to have my IUD removed because it is time and to discuss my options. I am 38 year old so I am hoping that I don’t run into the same push back I received when I was younger.

    My mother, sister and I are planning to walk this year in the pride parade for Planned Parenthood of Ohio to lend our support to a super important organization in our community. When I was 15 I had my very first gynecological exam at the Planned Parenthood in Newark and got my very first birth control. The doctors there were lovely, and so non-judgmental. I will always support them for that reason.

    I will also always fight for LGBTQIA rights. I have always considered myself to be bisexual as I find myself sexually attracted to both men and women, though nowadays I might consider myself closer to pansexual. My being currently in a heterosexual monogamous relationship does not change this, but does make it so that I am not personally effected by homophobia, etc. I am painfully aware of it happening, though, and its effects. Until this is no longer an issue I will continue to fight.

    I am planning to attend some rallys and protests as well around these issues, and to become more active in local politics to try to encourage change. How do you get involved? Would you run for local political office? Why or why not?

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