Tag: the writer’s life

  • Back and Bookish

    Hi! It has been a minute (or you know over a year) but I am back and, as mentioned in the title and blog rebrand, bookish.

    In the past two years (2023 and 2024) I read 947 books, novellas, ebooks, ARCs/ALCs and audiobooks. I have joined several street teams. I have attended several bookish events, boughts lots of book boxes, special editions, signed books, and so much more.

    What I am saying is that I am in my bookish era and I am taking this blog with me. I will post about events, review books, talk about authors, post unboxings, and anything else I can think of. Very bookish. Can you tell it is bookish?

    Also I am setting a goal to finish my own book in the first quarter of 2025, so I will post sneak peaks, and walk through the editing and publishing process.

    So…stick around.

    Welcome to 2025.

    Let’s read some books.

  • October 3 – A Ghost Story

    This year for one of my classes I wrote a story that I would consider a ghost story. It was inspired by a quote from a high school friend, Jarod Anderson who writes as The Cryptonaturalist. It is not perfect but I liked it and thought you might enjoy.

    “The Mind is a Haunted House”

    Every memory is a ghost and the house they haunt is you. – The Cryptonaturalist (Jarod K. Anderson)

                Delilah screamed as she shot up like a bolt from a deep sleep. She hugged her arms against her chest to slow her heart and to warm herself up. Her breath came out in gasps, visible mist in the cool air and dim light of her bedroom. Despite the chill, she was dripping sweat from the tip of her nose and small rivulets were making their way down her cheeks to puddle in the corners of her mouth leaving her tasting the salty brine of fear and, yes, tears that were steadily flowing from her eyes. She lifted her t-shirt to wipe ineffectually at her face, then swung her legs out from under the blankets. The shock of the cold hardwood under her feet forced a curse from her lips, “Fuck.” She glanced at the time on her phone which was charging silently on her bedside stand, 2:32 A.M. She ran a hand through her long dark hair and then hurriedly scurried into her ensuite bathroom.

                 She debated for a moment before deciding to turn on the lights in the bathroom. She shuffled to the vanity where she washed her hands and face mechanically, an automaton running the just woke up program. She met her own eyes in the mirror and gasped audibly as she took in the entirety of herself.

    On her neck, stark and purple against the paleness of her skin, were a series of bruises. They had not been there three hours ago when she had finally put the book down and gone to bed, so where had they come from. She gingerly touched her neck, examining the bruises closer and realizing that she could make out the outlines of fingers, as though someone or something had tried to strangle her. She tried to remember what had pulled her from her sleep mere moments ago, but she didn’t remember.  Her only lingering thought was that her father had been a part of her dreams. But was it a dream? Or a memory?

    She knew to her bones that she was not going back to sleep, so she turned out the bathroom lights and padded back into her bedroom this time making her way to the ancient comfy blue overstuffed chair in the corner. The room smelled of sweat, wine, sandalwood, and the ghost of the cigarettes her aunt had once smoked here. There was another scent here as well, was it Drakkar? Was she imagining that smell because her father had been on her mind this week? She curled herself up in the chair finding herself absently rubbing her throat and thinking about the past couple of days.

    Tuesday morning, she had woken to a text from Penny, her stepmother, that simply read – Your father went home to Jesus this morning at 5:00 a.m. Delilah had begun to shake so hard she let the phone fall to the floor before following it to sit cross legged rocking. For a few blissful hours she had felt freer than she had in her entire life, the nightmares began that night and then she woke this morning with the phantom bruises. There was no freedom, only this.

    That was three weeks ago, and Delilah hadn’t had a night’s peace since. Every morning she wakes with new and worse bruises and feeling ever surer that her father’s spirit is the impetus. The abuse she suffered at the hands of her father as a child was not unknown but was rather an unspoken fact to her family, friends, and community. Everyone agreed that it was awful, but no one would step in between the preacher and his only child.

    Having reached her fill of his abuse and fearing how it might escalate further on October 31st of her sixteenth year Delilah ran away taking her mother’s wedding ring, the money she had saved babysitting neighborhood children and very little else. She had found sanctuary with her maternal aunt, Juniper, a woman whom her father had forbidden her from ever contacting. Juniper promised her safety and sanctuary vowing to protect her until the day she died.

    When Juniper passed on 5 years ago Delilah inherited the house and enough money to go to school debt free and get her degree in Library Sciences. Now Delilah worked at the local university as a librarian full time, maintaining the stacks and assisting graduate students. She had felt safe and secure in her life until a single text message had led the ghost of her father to her. Now the reverend was once again wielding prayers as weapons against his daughter. Filling her nights with reminders of how she is a disgusting sinner, a whore. Damned before the eyes of God.

    Delilah had lost 10 pounds in the last three weeks and her already pale skin had grown wan; her eyes were surrounded by dark circles. She became herself a ghost haunting the library by day and her own home by night. Her anxiety mixed with lack of sleep had her seeing her father in the faces of everyone she saw. She needed help. Then she saw the flyer on the community bulletin board from a local paranormal group who held a ghost encounter meet up once a month at the library. Delilah remembered the kind eyes of the gentleman who ran the group and that he had left a card in the office. She located it easily within the drawer of the large, shared desk and before she could talk herself out of it dialed the number.

    The phone was answered on the third ring. After the usual pleasantries Delilah explained how she had gotten the phone number and the reason for her call. She explained that she thought she was being haunted. She told him that she was losing hope. She asked him if he thought he could help. He told her he though he could. Delilah began to cry. She asked him how soon he could come. He asked if tonight would be too soon. She cried harder. She told him tonight would be perfect.

    Delilah went home at the end of the day to wait for a stranger to come to her house. She felt like she had been running a marathon for weeks and maybe, just maybe, there was an end in sight. She sat waiting for the doorbell to ring, feeling hopeful but trying to be realistic. She wondered if he could help her. And, if he couldn’t how much longer she would be able to survive this. Could the ghost kill her? He was certainly able to hurt her. She didn’t know or understand the rules to all of this. It scared her. Almost as much as the doorbell when it rang startling her out of her thoughts.    

    Delilah answered the door and introduced herself once again to Matt who was the kind eyed man she had met previously at the library. She ushered him inside and led him to her couch. After her assured her multiple times that he did not need anything to drink and was quite comfortable she folded herself into a chair and the two looked at each other. Embarrassed by the silence she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear and began to speak.

    “Thank you so much for coming on such short notice. I feel like I owe you more of an explanation than what I gave on the phone. I told you I think I am being haunted. By my father. I told you I am waking up with bruises that seem to be handprints. The first night they were around my throat, but they have appeared all over my body since so I am not sure if his ghost is trying to kill me or just to hurt me. I hear his voice as it is happening, taunting me, calling me names, preaching at me. Honestly, he is much in death as he was in life: abusive, virulent, and judgmental. We had almost no relationship in life after I left at sixteen, and in death he seems to be punishing me to make up for the time he couldn’t. I am scared to sleep now. I am scared to be alone. I am scared that I might not wake up the next time.”

    Delilah delivered this speech looking at her hands and having finished her thought she finally looked back at Matt. His eyes still looked kind and showed none of the skepticism she expected to see there. Instead, he was nodding telling her he understood, telling her that there can be these kinds of hauntings, and telling her that they have been successfully banished from homes. He asked to see the bruises that had happened the most recently. She revealed a handprint around her right wrist that looked like someone had grabbed with their right hand and squeezed tightly. He told her that being able to harm her like that was unusual but not unheard of. He told her that he would like to see her bedroom to see if he could feel or communicate with the spirit.

    Delilah nodded and pulled herself to her feet gesturing to him to follow her. She led him up the stairs and into her bedroom, taking a moment to be glad she had picked up her dirty clothes and made her bed this morning after her father had woken her up again. She watched him as he walked into the room slowly and appeared to be listening closely to, or for, something she could not hear. He spoke under his breath to himself, or someone unseen, then turned to Delilah telling her that he didn’t feel any kind of presence but that doesn’t really mean anything in the long run. She nodded again, feeling her heart sink a little despite his reassurances.

    Matt told her that since the attacks and sightings happen late at night, it might be of importance to the ghost or is related to an important time for the two of them. She told him that might be, but not for any reason that she can think of. She asked him if that meant he needed to be there at night when the ghost was more likely to appear. He nodded in confirmation, and she nodded back slowly. Her heart sunk once again that the relief she was hoping would come was still delayed.

    They decided to come up with a plan. First, she would find a place to stay for the night and Matt would stay in the house with equipment to see if her father appeared when she wasn’t home. She stayed with a friend overnight as planned and while she still had scary dreams she did not wake up with new bruises. Matt told her it was a quiet night for him as well and they decided to move to phase two. Night two Matt would stay in the house with her and watch all night to try to engage with the ghost.

    Delilah found herself seated in the living room with Matt watching some random MCU film and realized that sleep would need to happen soon. She brought Matt upstairs and showed him the guest room and the bathroom. She went to change and told Matt that she would call him when she was ready for bed if he wanted to come in and keep watch. She changed into her sleep shirt and shorts, brushed her teeth and laid down on her queen-sized bed. She called out to Matt that she was going to turn off the light and go to sleep now. After that she remembered very little until she woke scared once again

    Delilah screamed as she shot up like a bolt from a deep sleep. She hugged her arms against her chest to slow her heart and to warm herself up. Her breath came out in gasps, visible mist in the cool air and dim light of her bedroom. Her eyes shot to the last place she had seen Matt and instead of finding him as expected her eyes found her father looming at the end of the bed. She wanted to scream again, she wanted to cry, to run. She did none of these. Instead, she stood up on her bed and made eye contact with her father. Looking straight into the face of her tormentor she began to speak.  

    “No more, Daddy,” She whispered to the man in front of her reaching forward. “No more cowering. No more hiding. No more running away. I have been the outlet of your rage my whole life and I am done. I was never any of those things you accused me of being. I was just a little girl who desperately wanted the love of her father, and no matter how hard I tried to be good I was just never enough for you. I will never be enough for you. But, that is a problem with you, Daddy, not with me. You are…you were a horrible father and therefore a horrible man and I refuse to let you rule me anymore.” As she spoke her voice got louder and clearer. “Goodbye, Daddy. Good night, Goodbye and Good riddance.” She reached toward her father as she said that and feeling his shoulders beneath her hands she pushed hard. She watched him fall and disappear then she was alone again, and she collapsed back into sleep once more.

    She awoke to a room full of light the next day and looked at her phone on her bed side table to see that it was almost nine in the morning which meant she had slept almost through the night. She threw on her robe and sought out Matt to find out what had happened the previous night. She found him in the kitchen drinking coffee he had brewed at some point and staring out the window into her backyard. He turned when he heard her come into the room and smiled at her over the coffee cup. He told her that he had dozed off but woke up to her speaking to the spirit. He told her he felt the spirit leave. He told her she was free. He told her that she may want to talk to someone about her past. She carefully avoided looking at the bruises on his shoulders which might have been handprints. She agreed that it might be nice to talk to someone. She felt free.

    What do you think? I forgot to mention that the story could have a max of 2500 words.

    Here is my Halloween Countdown video of the day.

  • 25 Days of Blogging

    I thought today I would share some of the poems I wrote for my poetry class last term. I had a couple that I was very proud of, so here they are for others to enjoy. The first is a prose poem, which is why it is formatted the way it is. The second is just a poem about roller skating.

    Witch
    In real life when witches meet it is often to drink tea or coffee, or whiskey, depending on the witch’s preference and the time of day. When witches meet they might as likely eat nachos and watch Practical Magic as light a cauldron and hold a ritual. They might discuss spell craft, divination, astrology, politics, fashion, or their love lives as all are important and valid. Some witches love long baths with herbs and bath bombs. Some have black thumbs and can kill a silk plant. Some witches have large black cats who might be their familiar or might be their fur kid or maybe both. Real witches can look just like you and me. Especially me.

    Roller Skates
    Wheels whirring, blurring, stirring the air.
    Shush, shush, shush…
    Barely breaking the still of a Sunday morning.
    I am sliding silently. Surfing the pavement,
    Setting skate in front of skate,
    Tracing little circles in the dust.
    My hair a hurricane halo radiating from my helmet
    It whirls and eddies as I spin and twirl.
    Shush, shush, shush…
    I let my thoughts glide as smoothly as my wheels
    Finding peace in the perfect playful pair
    who find their home upon my feet.
    Left to their own devices
    They would carry me away.
    Instead we circle endlessly in parking lots.
    And skating rinks.
    Taking contained adventures.
    With others who have heard,
    And succumbed to the sirens call.
    Shush, Shush, Shush…Come, come, come.

    I have been writing poetry since I was young, but hadn’t written anything in several years before taking this class. I refound my love of writing poetry.

  • 27 Days of Blogging

    27 Days of Blogging

    I used to be a prolific journaler. I always had a journal in hand. I used them as a diary, a planner, a scrapbook, and storage space. I still carry one with me, but I just don’t seem to use it as much as I used to. It is something I would like to get back to. I pulled out my old journals recently to help me write a poem for my poetry class, because I had a list of things I could be when I grow up and the poem needed to include a list.

    Today I was looking at these amazing pieces of my history. Taking a moment to read back through old relationships, how I have never really known what I want to do with my life, lists of things I want to do, buy or be, fun articles, my favorite horoscopes, and bits of overheard conversation. There are feathers, leaves, bits of ribbon, little drawings, poems, cards, and so many stickers. I read through the first days of Seth and I’s relationship, how hopeful I was while being cautious, it is so cute to read being a couple for almost 14 years (the anniversary of our first date is in May).

    My journals have been composition books that I decoupaged and decorated. They have also been beautiful art books that I have purchased from artists. I don’t know that I have a preference on which of these is better. I have loved them both, and worn them both out to the point that they are fraying on the edges and very well loved. The composition books have more me on the outside but it is the inside that counts, right?

    These books hold so much of my past in their pages. And I am shocked and dismayed to see so many similar themes popping up from then to now, wanting to be thinner, feeling directionless, hating my job, fearing change…over and over again. I can see that there are some big changes needed in my life. Or, I can see that my mindset needs to shift beyond these things.

    Here are some of my favorite pages, pieces, poems, and such from my journals over the years.

    I am feeling a pull for a new journal. I feel like I might have a new composition book upstairs. Maybe it is time to break out the ModPodge, magazines and ephemera to make a new one. And start making lists again and wishing and dreaming to myself.

    Also, in case you were curious here is the poem I wrote for class from my list.

    When I Grow Up…
    English Professor, or author
    or maybe both?
    Journalist, or radio host, or
    One of those crazy morning shock jocks.
    The girl who makes orgasm noises for songs,
    or the opera singer for horror movie climax (just a different climax).
    Counselor or psychiatrist.
    800-number psychic friend,
    “Call me now for your free tarot reading.”
    Belly Dancer? Lawyer? Warrior Princess?
    Open a bookstore, with a cat and lots of comfy chairs.
    As a girl I was told that when you hit 40 you are old.
    Here I am breaking the mold
    And trying to decide what I will be when I grow up.

  • Completed: October Things To Do

    Completed: October Things To Do

    I successfully completed everything on my October To Do List. It was a wonderful month and I am going into November with new goals and expectations. I decided to do NaNoWriMo but I am doing it differently this year by commiting to a poem a day for the month of November rather than a word count. I will still track on the site, so if you are interested in following along I am BetsySnowWhite.

    I have other plans that will solidify over the next couple of days that I will share when they take shape.

    Thank you for sharing Blogtober with me!

    • Magical Days, Madrigal Nights – Final Weekend: Wearing my new witch hat and having a blast with my friends.
    • Spooky Basket Exchange #1 – finish up and mail out: I need to finish a craft, box everything up and mail out.
    • Medieval Monster Mash at The Forge: Social distanced and monster themed. Our table is Witch themed. And Jameson’s Folly will be performing.
    • Spooky Basket Exchange – Duchess Edition: The ladies of the Duchess Squad will be exchanging baskets. Mine is purchased but needs assembled.
    • Give out candy for Beggar’s Night – Safely. I will figure it out.
    • Hallowest 1: Virginia West and Krystal Something Something co-writing and starring in the first Halloween performance at District West.
    • 2020 Witch Walk : My friend’s Kristan and Susan created this event a couple of years ago. We meet up at Goodale Park and then walk through the Short North dressed as witches.
    • Lady Gang Halloween at Carol’s: It’s Halloween and the Full Moon. We can’t let this go past without celebration.
    (more…)
  • To NANOWRIMO or not to NANOWRIMO…

    To NANOWRIMO or not to NANOWRIMO…

    I am currently trying to decide if I even want to try NANOWRIMO this year, or if I should give this year a pass since I have so much going on. I started a new job on Monday, so I am going to be working on learning my new function and getting it down. I am also still working on my Master’s and will be finishing up my poetry class to begin a Lit class on Shakespeare. I am definitely leaning toward giving it a pass this year

    But…there is a part of me that keeps thinking “Writers Write” so I should at least try, and just make my goal something more attainable with my current schedule. Like maybe write something everyday; this can be a poem, paper, blogpost, whatever as long as I sit down and write once a day. That seems like an achievable goal that sets a challenge but not one that will overwhelm.

    Are you doing NANOWRIMO? What writing goals do you have?